Stupidity stresses me out: My love affair with Customer Service
Posted by: kellio in Stories/ObservationsMy heart rate increases even before I call customer service….in anticipation of stupidity.
Customer service excels at impossible loops, deflecting accountability, repeating themselves, giving unrelevant/inaccurate information, telling the customer they should’ve behaved differently, and suggesting the “put the finger in the damn” solution.
I avoid calling if at all possible, doing all kinds of homework to try to solve it myself. When I do call its usually something relevant, and not cleared up by their usual suggestion, “Is it plugged in?” or “Did you press the ON button?”.
Also, can they quit authenticating me? The phone system asks me to enter my account number…..then the rep asks my SSN, mother’s maiden name, and name of my favorite teacher in elementary school…..and they ask for my account number over again even though I just entered it. Then, after I tell them all that, I tell them I’ve forgotten my PIN #……nope, they can’t give me that. You just verified me didn’t you? Doesn’t matter. “You can change your PIN online,” they tell me. But I need my PIN to get online. I tell them that, and they agree and say they can mail me my PIN. “By email?” I ask. Nope…by mail. CS rep: “Also, can you please verify your email?” Me: “I’ll verify my email if you’ll verify my PIN.”
There was the time I wanted frequent flyer miles from United for my trip to India. They told me I needed proof of flight and to complete a form with the receipt and mail it in for review to add the miles. I said, “YOU are United airlines. Why do I need to prove I flew on YOUR airline. Wouldn’t you already know that?” I had to call another dept with United, pay them $45 dollars to send a proof of flight, and then send the proof back to United to get the frequent flyer miles. My stress levels shoot through the roof.
Exhibit A:
I enrolled in automatic draft with Georgia Power, because I don’t like to have to remember to pay my bill each month. I was unsure though that the outstanding charge I already had for activation would be covered by that, so I called to ask if I had to pay that one differently.
CS: “Yes…that won’t be covered. Your automatic draft will start next month.”
Me: “Ok…so can I pay the outstanding charge online separately from automatic draft?”
CS: “No, if you are enrolled in automatic draft; you cannot pay online.”
Me (confused): “Huh? If I enroll in an automatic online draft function to pay my bill, I can no longer pay online? Its like an oxymoron.”
CS: “I can unenroll you in automatic draft. Do you want me to do that?”
Me: “So I can then pay online, so I can then go back and re-enroll in automatic draft?”
CS: “Yes.”
Me: “That doesn’t make sense…but ok. I guess that will work”.
CS; “You are now unenrolled. Is there anything else I can help you with?”
Me (I keep them on the phone till I’m completely done since there is always some hitch): “Let me just process this while we’re sitting here and then I’ll be done.” I went through some links and payed my activation fee online.
Me: “Thanks…that worked.”(hang up) Then I go back to the automatic draft section to re-enroll. I get this message:
I can’t re-enroll. It won’t let me. So I call back CS.
CS (after I explained what happened): Just write over the XXXs with your account number.
Me (like I wouldn’t have thought of that): It won’t let me. The field is un-editable.
CS: It won’t let you re-enroll because your payment hasn’t cleared.
Me: You mean the system message from GA power for “Please wait till your previous payment clears to re-enroll” is “Account numbers must be numeric”? That doesn’t make a lot of sense. Can you just re-enroll me?
CS: No.
Me: Huh? The previous rep un-enrolled me. Why can’t you re-enroll me?
CS: You have to do that online.
Me: I just explained to you that I can’t do it online. That’s why I called you in the first place.
CS: Wait a few days and go back online and do it.
Me: Ok…what if I do that and it still doesn’t work?
CS: Call back customer service.
Me: Why so they can tell me to go back online?
I have several other great examples that are popping into my head but I’m tired of writing so I’ll paste in this last conversation with Charter. This one is great because it isn’t a reconstructed conversation….its the actual conversation, lest you fools think I’m just making this stuff up.
Exhibit B:
Websites have these “Chat with a Customer Service Representative” buttons now…so I did.
A representative will be with you shortly.
You have been connected to Carlos .
kellio kellio: can you connect me to the video chat support group?
Carlos : My name is Carlos. Thank you for contacting Charter Communications. How may I assist you?
kellio kellio: can you connect me to the video chat support group?
Carlos : Sure thing, one moment.
Carlos has left the session.
Please wait while we find an agent from the Video Support CHAT department to assist you.
You have been connected to Jomar .
Jomar : Thank you for contacting Charter High Speed Internet Technical Support. My name is Jomar. How may I assist you today?
kellio kellio: i get getting routed to the internet chat, but I want to reach video chat support group…this is the third time its happened.
Jomar : May I know your concern please?
kellio kellio: I have a new install on an HDTV tomorrow. What do I need to have on my end to make sure everything runs smootly? (For instance, for the internet installation, I already own the cable modem and will have that for them when they arrive.)
kellio kellio: its not an internet question
Jomar : Okay, I will transfer you.
Jomar has left the session.
Please wait while we find an agent from the Video Support CHAT department to assist you.
All agents are currently busy. Please stand by.
You have been connected to Dave .
Dave : Thank you for contacting Charter Communications Video Department. My name is Dave. How may I assist you today?
kellio kellio: I have a new install on an HDTV tomorrow. What do I need to have on my end to make sure everything runs smootly? (For instance, for the internet installation, I already own the cable modem and will have that for them when they arrive.)
Dave : You need to have the hd box.
kellio kellio: you guys are supposed to provide that
kellio kellio: i currently have an HDTV…nothing else.
Dave : Yes. That is correct. That is part of the order.
kellio kellio: what about cables?
Dave : No need since the upgrade is for the HDservice only.
kellio kellio: this is a new install
Dave : Yes. Our technician will provide everything during the installation.
kellio kellio: HDMI cable?
Dave : By the way, do you have a cable service with Charter?
kellio kellio: no…this is a new install
kellio kellio: of cable
Dave : I see.
Dave : With regards to your concern, please call us at 1-888-438-2427 for further assistance.
kellio kellio: huh? you can’t answer my question?
Dave : Are you referring to a new installation of cable service?
kellio kellio: yes
kellio kellio: i think i mentioned that.
Dave : Okay. With regards to new service installation, please call us at 1-888-438-2427.
kellio kellio: so this isn’t the right chat room?
Dave : Yes, definitely.
kellio kellio: can you not answer that: do I need to provide anything additional at install (like HDMI cables)?
Dave : No. As I have mentioned earlier, we provide that during the installation.
kellio kellio: ok, thanks!!
Dave : You’re welcome.
Your session has ended. You may now close this window.
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My installation happened yesterday. The installation rep informed me that I DID need my own HDMI cable. They didn’t provide one.
Install rep: “Didn’t Customer Service tell you that?”
Me (smiling): “Uhh….no.”
My favorite line to any rep (and I use it often) is: “You know how they always say ‘This call may be monitored for quality control purposes’…..I hope this is one of them.”. Tags: customer service, funny