My Old Blog

I sometimes claim that I keep this site as a surrogate for returning emails. “Just check my webpage” goes my reasoning.

Well, here is my update: I am preparing taxes for H&R Block during tax season. I’ve been taking classes since October. I am now a tax professional…ish.

Why? I wanted to learn how to do it. The people are nice (my mother knew them previously). I could use a buck or two. I need something to occupy some time.

You know what they say: Death and taxes.

As a service to the (hopefully) small number of people that read this page, feel free to email me with tax questions.

Some people were born to question things. I am one of those people. But it gets really annoying sometimes.

Here are a few things I thought about today:

The Golden rule: Do unto others as you would have them do unto you. Ahhh…what a perfect world it would be right? Not really. Some people are masochists, some would eat broccoli for every meal, some like camping, others have foot fetishes. People already too often make the mistake of treating others how they would like to be treated. If there were a pot luck dinner I would bring cheesecake. Why? Because I want other people to bring cheesecake to my dinners….I love cheesecake. But what if everyone at my dinner is lactose intolerant?

Taking it too far you say? Is it an extreme example that doesn’t apply to the general rule? Sure, a little bit. Most of the time the golden rule works ok…but any rule that claims to be “golden” had better have its shit together.

What if you only had a month to live? Would you be doing the same things you are doing now?

This is part of the whole Just Do It culture. But its silly. Of course I wouldn’t be doing the same thing if I only had a month to live. I’ve heard it like this too: Live every day like it is your last. To somehow imply that you’re not living your life to the fullest because you are not acting like you’re about to die is just plain stupid.

There is an agreement we implicitly make with ourselves when we get out of bed everyday. I agree that because I think I will live about 75 years that some things are worth building towards…and in fact, some things really are worth building towards. The effort you put in today will pay off later…because you think there will be a later.

The point here is not that the golden rule sucks or that we shouldn’t Just Do It. The point is that I wish I could shut off that part of my brain that must always ask why.

I remember they were interviewing this guy on TV with a photographic memory. This is what he said: “Yeah, having a great memory comes in really handy sometimes. But alot of the time its annoying. I wish there were a delete button so I could get rid of all this junk in my head.”

I want to wish everyone a happy holiday season. Christmas is always a fun time of year. I think the fact that no one has to work and everyone knows they’re gonna get presents is a very large part of that. But I’ll take it anyway I can get it. Actually, the tacky decorations and special music and colors and all those things specific to Christmas…they help too.

I just looked at my email box. It has come to my attention that I suck at writing people back. How can that be? I don’t even have a job. Can I really make the excuse that I don’t have time?

There are 5 emails in the past week or so I just read and enjoyed and never responded to. Good emails. Someone that sat down at the computer and thought about me and wrote a personal note. Not just the normal: Hey. Just thought I’d drop you a line. Happy Holidays, XXX.

I’ve gotta do better. In my defense that is why I keep the website: so everyone interested can keep track of the stuff I end up repeating in emails. However, I recognize that my defense is super weak.

So what do I do? I just wrote a long email to someone that wrote asking for my mailing address and said nothing personal at all. Very smart Elliott.

Its been a while since I’ve written something sort of interesting. I’m actually in the process of writing 3 articles, which will be completed as soon as I finish gathering my thoughts on the respective subjects…..which is to say they may never get finished at all.

I haven’t done much writing lately. I’m reading books again. It seems I always end up at Barnes and Noble….I never leave without buying something. And so I read magazines for free and buy coffee and books.

I do a lot of eating these days too. Or at least it seems that way. I probably don’t eat any more than usual, but because my days are filled with so little, I remember the few things that do happen. I haven’t gained any weight….yet.

I went out in Greenville last night. I saw a lot of people: A guy I went to college with that is a professional DJ now….a girl I went to high school with I hadn’t seen in 10 years. We ended up at her house at like 4 in the morning…..strange. I used to have a big crush on her too. Some people don’t age so well though (she was probably thinking the same thing about me).

I need to get a job.

In response to myself concerning my last post “Why not put an international bounty on Osama’s head?” I would like to add: Why not put an international bounty on my head?

I have a nice head and there are those that might have an interest in it if the proper opportunity presented itself. I realize the reward would not be as substantial as for Osama’s, but I argue that my head has its uses as well:

1. It is not nearly as controversial. This, in itself, means it can be more readily prepared for its final use (whatever that may be). There is no extra baggage associated with my head. No NGOs, middle eastern governments, nor secret terrorists groups would oppose my head. It is neutral and nicely shaped.
2. It is newer. There are less lines on it. Whatever use could be had for Osama’s head would work with mine as well, except I think I could safely guarantee a longer shelf life. Think of it as a head with an extended warranty.
3. The present condition of my head is impeccable!! In addition to being chronologically younger, my head is virtually unused. I could, given the opportunity, provide ample documentation to show my head is almost “good as new”. There are my projects from school, videotapes of my behavior, photos, eye-witness testimony….all pointing to a complete flat-line.

The reason I’m promoting the idea of an international bounty on my head is for the excitement. Think James Bond. I want people to chase after me. I want to have a reason to be paranoid.

Life is crystal clear when people want your head in a basket. Staying alive is an heroic act. If no one is trying to cash in a bounty on your head….what meaning is there?

Think of how dramatically different your life would be if you were a “wanted man”. I can only think of one word: Cool.

Why not put an international bounty on Osama Bin Laden’s head? Wanted Dead or Alive. We used to do it. There was a bounty on Billy the Kid, a government bounty…and Pat Garrett, a former friend, sold him out. We all saw Young Guns II right?

Why drop bombs and gather intelligence? It ain’t working. Get one of his own group to turn him in. Let the people that harbour him get a billion dollar reward…its cheaper than what we’re doing now. People will be coming out of the woodwork trying to catch this guy.

Osama will be hiding in some moutain cave somewhere and this old goat herder will look out over the wrecked wasteland that was his fields and scratch his leathery face with an emaciated finger and think: The goats I could buy with a billion dollars!!!

And he’ll call the hotline and we’ll make a TV movie out of it and the old dude will get to visit the Playboy mansion, appear on Leno, and die a fat, happy bastard. Ahh…the American Dream.

I guess the only caveat is if another terrorist turns him in and uses the billion to finance more terrorism. But the US govt should be used to that. We’ve been playing musical fringe groups all over the world for years now. Step 1 – Finance rebels. Step 2 – engineer a coup. Step 3 – install a new government……only to have that group come back to haunt us years later and have to engineer another coup. Is it any wonder rebels don’t make good politicians?

Ok. This is my new page. Chasingeden.com is my domain and you can bookmark the URL.

I would like to thank Adam Parrott for allowing my space on his server. He used to live in my neighborhood and wrote me an email one day because he read an entry from my travel journal. That being said, I think everyone should have a blog so that your entire peer group may know the full joy of your short sighted opinions and pitiful frustrations.

Welcome.

(if you’re looking for the travel journal it is here and/or here.)