Archive for February, 2010

I actually wanted to write something about economics as I read this great article today about industries that don’t see much productivity improvement over time and how that affects us currently.  Check it out.

Instead I will write about married life.  I have been married a little over a month; she lived with me for 3 or 4 months before we got married.

So how is it? Similar to how it was before, except a little better…that’s my answer.

People say shit changes after you get married.  I’m sure it does.  I change even if everything else stays the same, and it never does.  I haven’t been married long, so I guess you can check back in a few years and see if I still think its the “same but better”.

The main advantage is Companionship:  I’m a loner by nature, and can’t say I ever much felt lonely when I was un-married.  HOWEVER, sometimes you don’t notice something until its gone.  If I enjoy the companionship now, that must mean in some sense I was missing it before, even if I didn’t know it.

The main disadvantage is always having to play well with others (ie. your wife).  This can also be translated to:  lack of alone time.  If I am in a bad mood I inevitably take it out on her…not actively, just by way of the fact that I am ill and she happens to be there.  In turn, she is sometimes ill and, due to proximity, she takes it out on me.  So….in marriage you will always increase the amount of time you have to deal with ill moods by a large amount…double.  You deal with yours (1X), and you deal with hers (2X).  That’s unavoidable.  (She is getting the bum deal here.  I’m ill a lot.  She isn’t.)

There are also a couple of  neutrals to marriage:


This is like the companionship thing…I never noticed the anxiety until the anxiety was gone.  When you are single you are always looking; you just don’t notice it.  It creates a mild, constant anxiety.  You need to be a little better at your job, have a little better car, be a little funnier than you are….all in service of the fact that you may meet a girl/woman whose standards you have to live up to.  You need to (and want to) be ready for this awesome chick who you are going to marry.  That’s stressful (even though I never realized it).

On the flip side, you have a new stress:  making sure you and your wife (and possibly kids) don’t end up living in the streets.  That’s self-explanatory, and stressful.


With two people, there should always be someone around to help out….so you shouldn’t have to do as much, and if you do you can always get help.  That’s crap.  Its true that you have help….but you also have MUCH more to do (marriage creates more work than it gets rid of).  Good thing someone else is around….I need the help.

In the end, I think marriage makes you a better friend, family member, employee….a better person.  You SHOULD have to deal with someone else all the time; otherwise you are too self-absorbed.


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