I just wrote an entry called “My greatest talent”, which I am not going to post. As the title suggests, it talks about what I think I am best at. That shouldn’t be something too personal I guess, since there is no shame in being good at most things; however, if you are truly exceptional at something it is just as likely to be a curse as a gift.
It will serve you well in most instances, but since you are great at it you will not be able to turn it off (even though you many need to)……it is just a part of who you are.
Let’s say you’re a good salesman (which I am not). You would be good at making a wide variety of people feel instantly at ease, you would appear trustworthy, and you would likely be entertaining. Those are great gifts.
But if you got along with everyone people could accuse you of being fake, and never taking a stand (since no one could please everyone if they spoke up regularly when they disagreed). If you are in a bad mood or a little apathetic or tired, your signficant other could accuse you of treating your clients better than you treat him/her. If you are lighthearted and entertaining, you could be accused of a lack of seriousness, of making light of everything.
It is also very hard to step away from what you think you are good at…so that you can become chained to your assets even when they are holding you back. Take anyone who played competitive sports in high school/college. Once you become associated with/good at atheletics you are rewarded for it with friends and scholarships and social status. But then you just play sports and neglect other talents which you might also like. Sports nuts are accused of being one dimensional and sometimes it is a valid point. Good looks are the same way…..they can get in the way as much as they are helpful (luckily I don’t have to worry about that one).
Then there are the bad habits which you become good at and can’t get away from. Drinking for example. In college if you are associated with getting blasted out of your mind, then there is pressure to become even better at it. When you aren’t drunk, people ask if maybe you are just hungover from the night before and will go out later. People want to go out with you, it makes you popular and accepted…and so it is hard to stop. The success of your drinking can fail you out of college.
I used to be that way with depression. I thought when I was unhappy that I had some special insight into the world. I wallowed in my bad moods, like I was always on the cusp of some great revelation. To steal Tolstoy’s idea, “Every happy person is alike; every unhappy person is unhappy in their own way.” I thought it made me unique. But I was wrong. I wasn’t unique. I was just unhappy.
It is very strange to see talents that way because everytime I see someone sufficiently “successful” at something I wonder what mad impulses drove them to get there. Nothing comes without a price.
Entries (RSS)