We had a seminar today at work on “change management”. It is a pretty hot topic these days as change is just about the only thing we can count on. “Plan for change” they say in business. Easier said than done.
It is always interesting what I pick out of an hour long talk like that as important. I am something of an accidental expert in change, owing to a decade of living at a different address every six months, never knowing where I’d be next…..constantly leaving behind and starting anew…sometimes so often I couldn’t tell which one I was supposed to be doing.
Change management is about rituals. I think alot of people disregard rituals as remants of a less sophisticated time…but I don’t think so. I have alot of habits that kept me sane during those years when nothing was constant.
Everywhere I went I found a way to exercise immediately. I wrote. I’ve been using writing as a calming habit for years. Oddly, I listen to the same music. I have a certain group of songs that I use to trigger reflection, and “center” myself. I have favorite clothes that I always took with me. I would spend alot of time walking around. I always liked that. I found friends immediately. Sometimes I didn’t even really like them….they just needed to be there. I read…I’ve done that for years. I sleep. Everyone knows that.
The point is that we have these habits that get us through the days, through rough times. “Success is a habit” they say. I say pretty much everything is a habit. If we don’t have them we are bombarded by too many options….too much to process. We get overwhelmed.
Anyway, I was just thinking how many coping mechanisms I have for stress and change. It is not me that internalizes change by force of will. It is those habits that buffer me until I can bear my new situation.
I won the prize for attending the seminar. They gave away a copy of “Who Moved My Cheese” to the person who’d visited the most countries. The next closest was a guy who’d been in the army his whole life.
Next topic…..I was talking to this guy the other night at a bar and he was struggling with his life and what he wanted to do (which seems to be a common topic these days). And as he talked about all the stuff going on, and there was plenty…..it occurred to me how hard it is to really achieve anything and be satisfied with it.
I’ve read theories, biographies, academic papers, and pop psychology about what it takes to “succeed” in life. Its one of my very favorite topics.
You know what? Its fucking hard to succeed. The best way is to focus on one thing and one thing only…..then get obsessive about it to the point of psychosis….then let it feed on you until you will not accept anything but success. Everything in your life should support that goal.
If you can do that….success will find you. You don’t need to do anything special. You don’t need to be smart, or planful, or charismatic, or well connected. If you can feed your brain that one overriding goal over and over in a sort of self-hypnotism….it happens on its own. Your subconscious wills it into being.
Those last two paragraphs are pretty much the secret to getting everything you want out of life….if you want to re-read it.
The problem….which was this guy’s problem….is that people spread themselves thin. I figure most people can only do one thing really well, as you have to commit to it……if you are talented and determined, you might be able to do two. Three seems almost impossible. You’ll just be average at all of them and spread yourself too thin.
Life is hard though. Things get out of your control. At that point you have to get back to your coping mechanisms….simplify, perform your rituals, focus on what you want most….and perhaps most importantly, which I didn’t mention before: ask for help from friends/family. And most, most, most importantly: Have hope.
I had another topic, but I’ll get to that later…..
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