I didn’t write that. C. S. Lewis did. But it well describes our daily lives.
I have given alot of thought lately to whether or not I am by nature a happy or a sad person. It is not always correct to divide mankind in half like that….but it is a powerful analogy.
In Plato’s Cave I accepted that the perception of my life is its reality….and that the truth is not always what will please us most.
I grant that my greatest gifts are also my greatest curses, from which I cannot separate myself. I search, it seems, mostly for happiness and contentment…..and only achievement inasmuch as it helps me content myself. I am restless anyway and talk about that alot.
I write about the harshness of work and the injustices of the economy, yet I work hard and defend the advantages of that life to those who question it, since most of them have scarcely seen or experienced the alternative.
I have expressed my fondness for alcohol, the importance of routine and ritual, and my internal rule against questioning reality too much lest I reduce it to nothing.
Everyone knows I don’t watch the news because I think it is all bad, and I read all science and business books/literature. I like all manner of movies, but like those best that end best.
I will usually even come to the defense of pop culture, saying that oversized SUVs are a matter of taste, Britney Spears is a great entertainer even if she is not a great musician, and that only time will tell if Bush is judged a good president even if it is plainly obvious he is a pig-headed dufus today.
I do this simply because the world is full of pop culture and regular people, otherwise it wouldn’t be popular and regular. It is simply unconstructive and serves no end whatsoever to “hate on” what is so prevalent. There is absolutely no effective difference between hating yourself and hating the world. Anyone who hates the world is simply reflecting a hatred of themself.
I do not care whether that last statement is “true” in an objective sense or not……as one that aims for a sliver of happiness and contentment, it doesn’t matter to me.
In essence, I voluntarily and consciously shield myself from naysaying and bad news. I go even a step further and shield myself from negative reality itself….whether it be “true” or not.
In a fit of narcissism I will quote myself, “You will never accidentally end up with more than you have dreamed.” You will never dream anything if you are surrounded by masked hatred. All you see are roadblocks.
So in the tiny, heartbreaking commonplace what do I see?
I see myself.
I see over a decade of fighting my nature, which is brooding, lethargic, and depressive. I see great strides and I see choices.
They say “people can’t change”. I say: You only need one example for something to be possible.
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Nothing is more valuable than today…
I’ve read more self-help, self-improvement, be all you can be books in my short life and while traveling on a plane home last week, I read the above statement in a magzine selling useless crap.
It hit me so hard I about fell out of my seat. One simple statment. Probably one I’ve even heard before in some form or another. In a world where we are forced to some degree or another to continue to strive to be better, to have more, to be more, we sometimes lose the simpliest focus, on today. On the now. Not where we are going and not where we’ve been. My life isn’t made up of memories or future dreams, but tiny little moments all strung together.
I read an article once about people who had one type or another terminal illiness. In one particular case it chronicled an underlying theme in AIDS patients. One theme I found interesting. With that disease their remaining days could be comprised of months or even years. The unknown if you will. What all of them said when it came to how it changed their lives was that that they fully knew the end was coming. Not maybe when I’m old but sometime before then. And what that did was eliminate their desire to think of the future or even the past. No more putting things off until next year when they had additional vacation time, or when they saved up enough to buy that new car. They were forced to live in the now. They truly embraced the now.
I’d dare to say most of us go to bed each night already thinking about what we have to do tomorrow. Our job, play golf, cut the grass, pay the bills, etc, etc. But do we ever lay our head on the pillow at night and really think what if there is no tomorrow. What if today was my last day. Did I do the right things, did I say the right things? Was I the person I was suppose to be?
Hell, you know me, I’m not philosphical, probably didn’t even spell the word right, but I do/did believe in the power of that simple statment.
I do believe in the beginning, we all focused on today because we had to. But over time, we’ve lost it by our own hand. Too many things to ponder over, past and present. Too much going on in the world to not ponder the past and present.
I guess after all these years I found what I was looking for after all, just one good day. If I’m lucky enough to have another, I hope it’s a good one too. Hell, I’ll even take a bad one because it seems like it’s still better than none at all.
Take Care of Yourself,
Swirl