I knew if I were just patient enough that eventually something good would happen! Its like a miracle….with poor grammar. Don’t look a gift horse in the mouth though.

I will respond promptly with the following message:

Date: Wed, 28 Mar 2007 14:12:14 +0200
From: “vider Amachina”
To: ME
Subject: urgent feedback

From: Vierder Machine
Dearest,

Good thing to write you.

[Me] Yes…good thing. Thank you.

I have a proposal for you- this is however not mandatory nor will in any manner compel you to honour against your will. I also thanks you so much for your mail and your willingness to know what I want to discuses with you which is very important.

[Me] I don’t remember mailing you but it is important so I won’t keep you from explaining to me this important matter.

Mean while I want you to go through this my proposal and get back to me with your urgent response through my private email contact. I must not hesitate to confide in you for this simple and sincere help. I am Vierder Machine

[Me] Great name!

the only daughter of late Mr and Mrs Joseph Machine. who was a very dealers and wealth coco merchant in Abidjan , the capital of Ivory coast.

[Me] I’ve never been. I wonder what it is like to deal in Veries though. Ivory Coast must be a strange and wonderful place.

he was poisoned to death by his business associates on one of their outings on a business trip.

[Me] Maybe not as wonderful as I thought =(

before his death of one private hospital here in Abidjan he secretly called me on his bed side and told me that he has the sum of US1.500.000(one million five hundred thousand united states dollars) left in a suspense account here in Abidjan cote Devoir. He place my name as next of kin, and also gave the documents pertaining the consignment to me.

[Me] Did he have a fax machine by his death bed as well?

He also explained to me that it was because of this wealth that he was poisoned by his business associates, that I should seek for a partner in a country of my choice where I will transfer this money and use it to invest in a profitable ventures.

[Me] Vierder (or however you spell it)…..I’ll go ahead and tell you I’m not one of those gullible types. I’ve heard of those schemes from Africa where they try to sell some poor sap a sob story to get their money. Those schemes are usually from Nigeria though, so I’ll give you the benefit of the doubt for now.

I am just 25 years old and a university undergraduate.

[Me] Let me guess…..not an English major? Oh well, I won’t hold that against you in light of the fact that you’re about to send me 1.5 million bucks.

I have suffered a lot of set backs as a result of members of my late father’s family who has not stop disturbing me about the where about of this fund after they have succeeded in claiming almost all the valuable properties that he left behind for me, coupled with incessant political crisis here in Ivory coast. The death of my father actually brought sorrow to my life I will like every thing to be conclude soon so that I will join you for me further my study and also prefer to go pastoral school in your country.

[Me] A man of the cloth huh? Your proposal must be sincere then!! And you’re not even from Nigeria…how could I have doubted!

[Me] Also, you’d do better to call it “seminary”, “theology” or something of the like. If you try to enroll in pastoral school you might end up being a shepherd….not really a lot of demand for that in the US.

I am honourably seeking your assistance in the following ways. 1) to help me transfer the found into the destination account in your country

[Me] Absolutely, immediately. I accept checks, money order, and I have a pay pal account too. (Cash is preferable.)

(2)To serve as the guardian of this fund during and after the transaction. since I am just 25 years (3)To make arrangement for me to come over to your country after the money has been transferred and invest.

[Me] Hey man….you send me a million and a half dollars and I’ll make whatever arrangements you want to come to my country. In fact, I just checked. Delta flies round trip to Abidjan, Cote D’Ivoire for about $2500. It takes 22 hours, changing planes in Paris. Stop for a few days if you want. I’ll pick up the tab.

[Me] I can’t believe you chose me man!!!!! Just think, I didn’t even write you that email….its just pure, dumb luck!!!! Completely awesome!!!

Moreover, I am willing to offer you any thing as compensation for your effort / input after the successful transfer of this fund to your nominated account. Furthermore, you can indicate your option towards assisting me as I believe that this transaction would be concluded within some days you signify your interest to assist me.

[Me] Super interested. Transfer away. I can’t quite figure out the tax implications yet….but after I quit my job I’m sure I can look that up on the Internet.

I will appreciate your early. I will be more appreciated if you contact me through my private email for security reason. Vidar_23@yahoo.com
responds. Anticipating to hear from you soon.
Thanks God Bless. ks and
Best regards,
Vierder Machine.

Who’d have thunk it? And they say it is hard work and education that pay off? I’ll tell you what pays off: bank transfers.

One Response to “My ship just came in!!!!”
  1. josh says:

    Thanks God Bless. ks and
    Best regards,

    talk about salutation overload, and what’s with “ks”? does that stand for kisses?

  2.  
Leave a Reply