Isn’t that what they say? As if thinking you’re younger can actually make it so?

My wrist injury has made me face aging for the first time in my life. I remember years ago I said “Youth will not rust in my possession.” I was like 15 or so.

As an aside, I thought I was quoting Thoreau or Emerson, but after a Google search it turns out I made that up. I can’t find that quote anywhere. The closest I can find is William Congreve in The Way of the World….which I can’t recall if I ever read: “For my part, my Youth may wear and waste, but it shall never rust in my Possession.” The olde English writers had an odd habit of Capitalizing things that didn’t Need it.

I have also said, “You will not die with your health, you might as well use it up.” I think Mark Twain said something like that, but it isn’t a direct quote. Another Google search doesn’t find anything similar. Maybe I made that one up too?

So for the first time in my life I am faced with a life altering injury. I join the ranks of adults who complain of their ailments, restrict what they do, and wear several braces while limping from one activity to the next. That is an adult activity; no youth involved.

I liked tennis because it is one of the only active sports you see older people playing, even the retired. I gave up basketball a few years ago because it was too hard on the body. Golf also counts in that group of elderly sports, but it isn’t much exercise…and my wrist won’t let me do that anyway…and I suck even if I were healthy.

I have seen more doctors this year than every previous year of my life combined. No youth involved in that either.

This is the first problem I’ve ever had that can’t be solved.  Usually hard work, or brains, or connections, or patience, or money can find a way to solve your problem.  If you can’t solve it, your just need more of something (more money, more time, etc).  This is something that can’t be fixed.

You’re always aware there are problems that can’t be fixed.  We read about them in literature, and see them in the movies and on Dr. Phil….but rarely do they show up in our lives, always someone else’s.  And we always think, “Man, that would suck.”  Guess what:  It does.  Being confronted with unsolvable problems is an adult lesson that I would rather not learn.

I have always been enamored with the idea of perfection of self…or stated in a healthier way: self-improvement. I’ve alluded to this in other posts though, and I’ll bring it up now again: Perfection requires time, and an unchanging environment to even begin to approach. If the variables are always changing, its hard to improve significantly. You just stumble ahead the best you can trying to figure out your new paradigm.

I did pretty well perfecting youth. I was able to be young, grow, have adventures, do it my way, and bear most of the responsibilities of adulthood while maintaining a youthful outlook…..but guess what: Now I’m a 33 year old youth with all the attendant advantages and disadvantages. And I’ve taken it as far as I can.

Until now I could basically say, “I’m pretty much as good as I’ve ever been at everything I’ve ever done.”  That isn’t completely true, but its basically true.  Now I can’t say that.  Declining overall potential is an adult issue.

The injury is forcing a philosophical paradigm shift. I am no longer young, and I must deal with that.  It took me 33 years to “perfect” youth. Perhaps by the time I’m retired I will have a handle on adulthood?  Funny.

So they say you’re only as old as you feel: Well…I feel old.

So is there anything good to come of this? Not much…but here is what I can come up with.

– At least I don’t have to move furniture anymore.

– At least I used my youth while I had it. Would it have been better or worse to have an injury like mine if I didn’t play sports or get exercise anyway? For those people, it wouldn’t have been an impactful injury. They weren’t active before; they wouldn’t be active after. I can do most day to day things without pain.

– Now I can focus on my music career (haha).

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