I had an interview today. How’d it go you ask? Fine. That’s what I always say. “It went fine.”

Everyone believes that something is wrong with them. We all have some secret affliction that makes us unique, that makes us think we’re different or alone. In perfection we are all the same.

I was in one of my moods the other night. My dad laughed at me. “Son…you sound like a burnout. But you can’t be burntout…you’ve never done anything.” He has a good point.

I didn’t give it another thought until I was talking with one of my old professors in Columbia. She said the same thing. Am I burnt-out?

I did a little research on it. It appears there are three stages to burnout:

  1. Arousal/Exhaustion: This is where you are “working your ass off”.
  2. Cynicism/Energy Conservation: This is where you start to distance yourself from everything.
  3. Burn-out: This is where you want to throw the alarm clock out the window…and actually do it.

Here is a great burnout story:

Consider the case of Naomi Henderson, who was paralyzed by her stress–literally. The 58-year-old CEO of RIVA, a small market-research firm in Bethesda, Md., often put in 120 hours a week at the office and slept two hours a night. After keeping this pace for several weeks straight, one night Henderson woke up to go to the bathroom and couldn’t move her legs. She stared down at her limp limbs, blinking in disbelief. Her mind began fixating on the most improbable of causes: Polio? Some new disease she hadn’t heard of yet? In a panic, she screamed for her husband. He scooped her up and drove her to the hospital, carrying her–still in a bathrobe and with tears streaming down her face–into the emergency room. The diagnosis: stress. The doctor put her on bed rest 14 hours a day for six weeks.

And the crazy bitch didn’t stop working. A few years later it happened again.

Here are a few suggestions to help avoid burnout from the UCLA Center for Mental Health:

  • Exercise
  • Get more sleep
  • Pursue a hobby
  • Don’t procrastinate
  • Keep a “to-do” list
  • Learn to plan

Is this supposed to help? All these suggestions either take up time themselves or allow you to better schedule things that do.

I also read a lot about what causes burnout:

  • Lack of control over one’s destiny
  • Overwork
  • Constant conflict
  • Feeling that one’s contribution makes no difference

I have another one to add that wasn’t mentioned: Too much success. If you win over and over and over, you lose motivation…winning loses its appeal. There is no thrill in victory if there is no chance of defeat. Its like when you won Super Mario Bros. for the 100th time…you just quit playing. Either you change the game….or burnout. I am not Sisyphus.

So…am I burnt out? I don’t think so. I like stress to a certain extent. If the strings aren’t pulled tight, there is no music when you play them. Have I had too much success? Well, I am not as competitive as I used to be. Winning doesn’t get me off like it used to. The satisfaction of a job well done is less satisfying.

It isn’t that I always win, or always get what I want. The frequency doesn’t matter. Some other person may win more and get more. What does matter is that I passed that magic point…real or not, it has become an issue for me.

I’m sure this will not be one of my more popular posts. Most people simply can’t relate to what I’m saying. They’re thinking, “That arrogant fuck!! I have no sympathy for someone that complains about chronic success.” Valid point. I refer you to paragraph two of this post: We all have some secret affliction that makes unique. I’m not saying its real. I’m saying I think its real.

Someone once told me that it isn’t good to live all your dreams when you’re young, else there is nothing to look forward to in retirement. I once said be careful about broadening your horizons. The gap between your horizons and the life you live will slowly fill itself with bitterness and cynicism.

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