Two years ago at this time I was in Peru, on the Inca Trial. Not that I am particularly longing to be there….I have 30 some-odd days of vacation this year if I want to take them. I can go back to S. America if I take a notion. I think I will only take 15 of them (which is still three weeks…the rest roll over to the next year). That’s enough. Work doesn’t suck that much.
I just happened to look at those entries from Peru since I was cleaning out all the “penis enlargement” and “buy viagra non-prescription” spam I get in the comments section (yes…not only do you get spam email…but they spam the comments on blogs too).
So two years ago I wrote an entry called “Permission to Feel”.
Here are some quotes:
“I have been in Cuzco a few days now, waiting for the trek….relaxing and seeing nothing in particular. It is morning and I am at a small cafe with Inca walls taking a breakfast of pancake and coffee…”
“Last night I had very strange dreams and this morning I have a low mood and feel almost invisible; just my pen, coffee, and the low yellow light of the cafe. It is very bright and clear ouside…a beautiful day…”
“I am not saddened or frustrated by my sadness. I do not wish away this mood. I am happy to be sad and lonely.
It is only now, far away from my life, that I am allowed to be sad. Traveling gives me permission to feel however I like and thus allows me to feel at all…I also have the liberty to allow the mood to run its course…to let it wash away whatever it is here to do.
At home I cannot afford ill moods. I cannot allow the moods that make up my emotional dialogue to run their course…and so they don’t. Whatever they are trying to tell me is lost…”
Hmm….very true. Worthless, but true. Since I am now at home….as I stated in Peru, it is hard to allow yourself time to really consider what you’re doing. Perhaps that is what your death bed is for???….such good that it does there.
Anyway, I dug up a picture of Cafe Vayaroc, where I was sitting when I wrote that. You can see the coffee, and my journal in the background:
I’ll leave you with this absolute ridiculousness:
So….to completely ruin the mystique: the building on the left is the town church, even though the lot on behind me looks like its been bombed. The guy on my right is actually counting coins in his hand that people have paid to let you take a picture with his bird….which I’m sure is his solely for the purpose of photos with tourists.
I was just waiting on the bathroom. Its was like 7:30 in the morning and the road we were riding on disappeared off the edge of a cliff 30 minutes later. They’d recently had a landslide.
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