CNN ran this story about the crazy gunman that killed the Amish school children. Half of the 75 people who attended his funeral were Amish. If someone killed your kids and then killed himself would YOU attend the funeral of the killer? Probably not.

Maybe I need to become Amish?? I’d be unemployed surely though, since my experience building large software platforms is probably pretty useless to the Amish.

I wonder how I would make out with the Amish? Without electricity I imagine they go to bed early. I like to sleep. Score one for the Amish.

Amish are farmers. I don’t like dirt, or manual labor all that much. I imagine horse and buggy would be cool…..if I were in Central Park on vacation. I don’t think I’d like it for my main source of transport. Maybe the Amish life isn’t for me?

The Amish are exempt from social security and medicare taxes. I don’t like taxes. Score another for the Amish. (They don’t draw Social Security or receive medicare either though.)

Ok…this one seals it. I’m in.

What are the Amish courting rituals?

For many of the Old Order Amish young people, pairing up begins at Sunday evening singings, The boy will take the girl home in his buggy. The couple is secretive about their friendship and courtship. Several days to two weeks before the wedding, the couple is published in church and their intentions to marry are made known. Weddings are held in November, or at the very latest in early December. That’s after the busy fall harvesting season is over. Weddings are on Tuesdays or Thursdays-the least busy days of the week on an Amish farm. The wedding is held at the home of the bride and the sermon and ceremony will last about four hours. Weddings usually begin at 8:30 a.m. There are no kisses, rings, photography, flowers or caterers. There are usually 200 or more guests. After the wedding there will be a delicious dinner of chicken, filling, mashed potatoes, gravy, ham, relishes, canned fruit, plus many kinds of cookies, cakes and pies.

That food sounds great. I can’t wait to become Amish. I’m hungry.

Since I can’t do tech work after I convert to Amishness, I think I’ve come up with a different profession that I would be well suited for. I will become the world’s first Amish Science Fiction Writer.

I will open a new and wonderful world for the Amish with my fantastical stories of “lightbulbs”, “radios”, and “vacuum cleaners”.

Can the Amish drink?

One Response to “Yo ho ho, its an Amish life for me…”
  1. josh says:

    I don’t think the Amish are boozers, but you could probably sneak some wacky weed into your corncob pipe.

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