I forgot how tired I get when I have alot to do at work. I’ve slept some odd hours lately, from as little as 5 hours to as much as 10 or 11. I don’t feel a ton different either way. But when I run around all day at work….at 6 or 7 when I am finished I feel like I’ve been beaten with a blunt object. My eyes get so heavy.
Anywho…..it has come to my attention lately that one day I may not have a website anymore….or at least won’t keep it. I used to think that one day I might “get important” or someone from work would read it or something and that I would incriminate myself and have to take the shit down.
I don’t think that anymore. I have learned that people don’t really care what I think, at least in a way that incriminates me. I can say pretty much whatever I want. Only a very few people have ever grilled me about what I post, even the things where I don’t really mean it and say stuff inflammatory but amusing just because I think it fits the moment. People read my posts and comment to me about the funny stuff or some interesting factoid I put on here…..no one really ever says, “you’re a depressive, opinionated, self-absorbed bastard”….although I suppose a few people have said that.
So what I think is that one day I will just cease to have anything to say….and perhaps that won’t be such a bad day when/if it comes. Many things I do, or am able to do, are a product of the fact that I am without significant responsibility and have money (not because I make alot, but because I spend little). I CAN pick up and go to India (which I wrote about)…..because I don’t have a family to take care of and/or a house to look after.
I write posts about random facts, my extra-curricular activities, drinking, travel, economics, etc. They are all things that require time and a wandering mind. I complain about lack of time now, but the fact is that I should have more than just about anyone……after all, what do I really HAVE to do (other than go to work)?
So all the factors of my life that lead to this website could easily disappear if I had more responsibility. I guess responsibility isn’t always a bad thing. Maybe I would find something else to write about??? Although if I can barely find time now, and need extra wandering ideas to think of what to write…..then maybe not.
I wrote most when I was unemployed (living at home) and when I first moved to Atlanta (when I knew absolutely no one and lived alone drinking Sam Adams by myself in that little apartment in Post). I also write alot when I travel….again all instances where I have lots and lots of time.
Not that writing takes up a TON of time. But it does often require a rested, creative mind and the mood….and the mood disappears if you’re doing other stuff.
Strange to think about…..I always thought I wrote because I liked it. I do, but I think I might allow it to get crowded out if I had other stuff.
Who knows? I’m rambling. I need to sleep. My eyes are burning.
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