I am not bashful about the fact that I was a cute kid. I mean, come on….Macaulay Culkin ain’t got shit on that. I should’ve been Home Alone or something….Brady Bunch, Partridge Family, anything. I feel cheated. Why couldn’t I have had the psycho parents that turned me into a child star? Why couldn’t I have been a pre-teen alcoholic?

At least then I could have a career making fun of everything on VH1’s “I Love the 80s”. I wonder how much that pays? I am good at making fun of everthing. I bet I would be at the top of the pay scale. I might be able to get a gig on the Surreal Life too. I think that show is hilarious.

People think Macaulay Culkin grew up ugly. If you’ve seen him lately…maybe on Celebrity Poker since he certainly isn’t acting….he isn’t ugly. He turned out to be a fairly average looking adult….which is a far cry from the “cutest kid on the planet” mantle he bore in childhood. Macaulay Culkin maxed out his looks at around 12 years old. That sucks for him.

Maybe it is best that I wasn’t a child star? I would hate to think I peaked at 12….or maybe it wouldn’t be so bad. He is a gazillionare.

5 Responses to “The Macaulay Culkin syndrome”
  1. Josh says:

    That picture could definitely make it into a T.V. commercial! I can picture it now, “For only the price of a cup of coffee each day, you could help…” or you could’ve gotten into the milk carton advertising giant of “Have you seen me?”

  2. jho says:

    SALLY:

    You should’ve been a comedian!!! Because I couldn’t stop laughing after reading your post!LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    That shit made my day. Big thanks goes out to ya!

    jho

  3. Elliott says:

    You two boneheads send me some pictures….I’ll post them and we can all make fun of them.

  4. Dad says:

    You were a handsome child. Do you remember that your infant photo was in a Davidson’s (old dept. store) contest for best looking babies. You placed 2nd or 3rd out of about 50 Greenville babies entered in the Greenville store.

    Your sister wasn’t a bad looking childstar herself.

  5. Mere Mere says:

    Hey Bro,

    You forgot the cutier of the two people in that picture….Me!

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