Anne Marie wrote the following quote. She is one of my favorite people and so I gave her question some thought in the useless roundabout way at which I excel:
“Anyway…yeah…sometimes I wonder what the hell I’m doin here in Germany…wasting time getting a masters that, actually, I am not sure if I like it because all I dream about now is opening a restaurant in the south of Italy somewhere…do you have some advice for me…I’ll take some if you’re handing it out Elliott…”
I am not a big fan of giving out advice, although it has its uses. Fortune cookies give advice. Only friends can support each other.
Your dream of opening a restaurant in Southern Italy sounds a lot like my dream of opening a traveler’s hostel in Eastern Europe.
I’ve deconstructed my dream a lot. Is it a dream of escape? My form of a primal subconscious dream to escape the responsibilities of life? I’m sure everyone has such a dream in some form. Does anyone every follow it and if so at what price?
Is it simply a fantasy that serves as an outlet for everything in my life that isn’t what I want it to be? In that case the dream is just a symbol of what more I want to achieve, and is safe because it is distant and can take on whichever qualities I need it to at the time. If that is the case, then following my fantasy wouldn’t satisy it. I would simply invent another one.
Is it a dream of fulfillment? Do I actually, in practice, prefer that life to this one I now live? Would I embrace the advantages and accept the disadvantages of that life better than the one I have in the US?
I’m not so sure any of those are the answer, probably some combination and a few things I’ve never thought of.
I used to talk to Peter all the time about the “right” thing to do…or actually he used to talk to me. He always did, and often still does, refer to his decisions in terms of right and wrong…as if there is some objective measure or a predetermined path to discover and fulfill.
I never understood that thinking. To me there is very rarely right and wrong…only many options, each with their pros and cons, but none of them is RIGHT in any objective sense…not even RIGHT in a subjective sense. Better or worse sometimes, yes…but right or wrong??? History books decide that, and they are written by the winners and so aren’t to be trusted. And no one has hindsight of the future.
At the time, there is only a decision, and how firmly and whole-heartedly you commit to it.
Of course, given a bit of time, I could deconstruct that statement too. I think the point here, if there even is one, is not to listen too much to what I have to say. I know I don’t.
Ask Peter, he might be able to give you the right answer.
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LOL, I can just picture you going into a cave for 40 days, fasting, and meditating on the answer that she seeks like some tibetan monk. Now you’ve come out enlightened and your answer is……………”Ask somebody else.” That cracks me up.
Ell, referred to me as seeing everything as right or wrong. I have never really thought about that, but in terms of my relationship with Elliott I could see that side of me. Honestly, I struggle all of the time with the concept of right and wrong in terms of the big picture. But, my gutt usually screams my truth at me. Therefore, what my gutt tells me becomes right because the pain of ignoring it is too strong not to listen to it. Therefore, by justifying the other as wrong, I can make my gutt right. On the other hand, my advice has typically led people in the direction of their heart. Which I believe, unless the decision could cause serious danger, is always the right direction.
So, Ann Marie, I say follow your heart…
And, to you Elliott, questioning a dream…T.H. Lawrence had something to say about that.
And, Elliott, tell AM to email me. That night in NYC, might have been one of the sexiest bar seens I’ve ever been a part of.
It needs a sequal
Peter