Right now is the busiest time of year at work, so I am swamped, although promised that it will let up soon…we’ll see.

I’ve played tennis 5 days in a row. My wrist hurts, I’ve got tendonitis in my arm and my back hurts. I think I need a break before our team match this weekend (I won last weekend).

I have been out of town for the last month. I went to a Clemson game, had a wedding two weekends in a row, and I went to the moutains of north Georgia last weekend. I keep thinking I’m gonna sit on my butt and do nothing, which I would very much enjoy, but it just doesn’t happen.

I bet it won’t happen this weekend either…actually I have a tennis match on Saturday and have to work on Sunday. Some people aren’t all that excited about working this weekend. I’ve worked every weekend for the past 3 months….this one just happens to be scheduled. It makes no difference to me.

Tonight I gave myself a haircut, paid bills and cleaned-up some around the apartment. I’d say I’ve had a grand total of 30 minutes or so of free time today. But it really isn’t a very relaxing 30 minutes when you have in the back of your head the whole time all the things you probably should be doing.

I haven’t been truly relaxed in a very long time…maybe years, unless you count being drunk. I think sometimes we think we are relaxed, but what we mean is that we are less tense than usual. Being slightly less anxious or stressed than your general highly agitated state is not the same thing as a genuine lack of anxiety and worry….a truly clear head. Most people haven’t had that in so long they’ve forgotten what it is.

I know a girl that is an endocrinologist. Her area of expertise is the stress response. She told me that although you think you are relaxed and may identify yourself as so, your body is not fooled.

The analogy she used was people who regularly commute in high traffic areas. They say they get used to the traffic and it is less stressful than it once was to sit in gridlock. But their stress hormone levels remain very similar to what they were when they first began the commute years earlier.

Anyway, I thought of it because today, while I didn’t have a lot of free time persay, I did complete my afterwork activities at a more leisurely pace than usual. I even managed to sit down and eat dinner for about 30 minutes at a restaurant (I usually eat fast food).

If I didn’t know better, I would say I had a relaxing evening.

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