I predict that in the next 10 years all food will be found to cause cancer. The other day I read about a new, obviously well meaning, group called the Breatharians. Their ultra restrictive diet excludes food altogether. They maintain that human beings can exist on light alone. I maintain that this will be a very short-lived diet plan, no pun intended.

In a related story, life will be found to be hazardous to your health and, despite the bewildering advances of modern medicine, I predict that the death rate of humans will hold steady at 100%.

I predict human cloning. Consequently, after people hang out with their “other self” and find out how freaking annoying they really are, I predict a concurrent rise in clone murder…or would that be considered suicide?

I predict an increasingly accelerating augmentation of the bulk store and supply of utterly superfluous, wasteful and unneeded quantities of consumer market goods and services for the end-user client. I further predict that people will lose the ability to think in complete sentences and will convert to the more “user friendly” slogans, tag lines, and bullet point sentence fragments. People will be paid a small fee every time they can naturally work in a plug for a multinational’s product. I say “Just Do It

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