Alarm at 7:40. I hit snooze twice and wish I were dead for about 10 minutes. During this first ten minutes of every day I would gladly trade everything I have, and lots of stuff I would have to steal, for an extra 10 minutes in bed. Luckily no one is ever around to make an offer.
Then I scrounge around for some clothes that aren’t dirty and wrinkled, always reminding myself to iron some stuff for the next day…which I never do. I do the hygiene thing and I’m out the door by 8:15.
At work I make coffee first thing, always putting in a few extra tablespoons of grounds, telling myself that I only make it that thick on days that I’m extra tired…which is everyday.
I got a request from the powers that be telling me to remove the coffee maker from my cubicle. After all, they give us free coffee and Coke products.
Officially, heat generating products are off limits…you know, in case my menacing coffee maker burns down the building. And that is a sound policy I think…..FOR ME TO POOP ON!! (now I put the coffee maker away everyday after I use it instead of leaving it out)
Then I do some work. That takes a long time and never seems to end. When I have too much it makes me frustrated and I work slower. When I have too little I dream of cheap beach property in Central America.
And I deal with people too. Most of the time they are nice. Sometimes they are frustrated too. Each person has their own buttons and telltale signs of stress. The stressed people really aren’t all that bad…..it is the ones for whom stress has become a way of life that are hard to deal with.
They aren’t stressed anymore. They are just rushed. They’re always rushing. They write terse emails and have short conversations. They back up slowly as they talk to you…unconcious of anything but completing the next task.
Those people get on my nerves, but not because of their attitude. I simply don’t like that. But that they allow their life to get like that and thus perpetuate the more inhuman side of work. I hate that.
At the end of the day I start to get hungry. I stay at work till 5:45 or 6 usually. Sometimes I stay longer, but my mood gets really ill. I need food. So I go out to eat after work and read a book.
I often find it hard to relax. I’m usually exhausted. At lunch I shovel food down my throat as quickly as possible, often times while sitting at my desk still doing work, so that I can get back to my work faster after I’m finished. I fail to see my own logic.
The deadlines do bear down on you though. My client spends about 20 million dollars a year for my company’s services. I don’t think they’d like it if I screwed that up.
So I come home and fight off sleep from 7 to 8 or so. I hate this time of day almost as much as the first ten minutes. I can’t sleep because then I wouldn’t be able to sleep at night, which would make the next day worse. Did I mention I hate this time of day??
So to avoid that I usually play tennis, or go bowling, or drink, or play basketball…or something. Tonight I played tennis for 2 hours.
I try to answer some emails, or at least read them, or at least try to read some of them. Today I got this one from Dean, which made me laugh.
Hey,
I thought I’d give you a mid-day sanity check. What you’re thinking is right…working for someone else sucks….corporate america sucks….we need to be snorkeling in the Yucatan right now…we need to be the owners of property in Latin America….and most of all we need to make a quick exit from our current jobs before we become corporate robots!
Later,
Dean
P.S. Tell your boss to stop giving you so much work to do but most of all tell him/her/it to EMA.
Uhh…actually Dean, I wasn’t think that…….BUT THANKS FOR FUCKING REMINDING ME!!!!
After this the day is pretty much over. I go to bed around 11 or so, maybe later, since feeling rested at work is pretty much a waste of a good mood, so being a little tired is ok.
And this is life, mostly. I don’t hate what I do. I have stuff I’m always planning to do, which keeps me from the crippling thought that this may be the rest of my life.
Unfortunately, the day I just described to you doesn’t leave me much time for life maintenance (laundry, cleaning, bills), relationship maintenance (talking to friends and family), nor silly daydreaming (which is all important to my sanity).
I mean, come on….this:
maybe this:
or this:
Don’t I look inspired?
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