I always keep a bottle of stimulant handy in case I see a snake-which I also keep handy.
— W. C. Fields (1880-1946)
Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy.
— Benjamin Franklin (1706-1790)
It takes one drink to get me drunk, but I can’t remember if it’s the thirteenth or the fourteenth.
— George Burns (1896-1996)
“When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.”
— Henny Youngman (1906-1998) British-born American comedian
“Time is never wasted when you’re wasted all the time.”
— Catherine Zandonella (I don’t know who she is, but that is some real wisdom!!)
Hey Josh, how do you like the last one???
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Best post ever! I liked the snake quote and the one about giving up reading. Here are a few more I like:
What contemptible scoundrel stole the cork to my lunch?
–W.C. Fields
If your doctor warns you that you have to watch your drinking, find a bar with a mirror.
–John Mooney
I feel sorry for people who don’t drink, because when they wake up, well that’s the best they feel all day.
–Frank Sinatra
Oh, you hate your job? Why didn’t you say so? There’s a support group for that. It’s called EVERYBODY, and they meet at the bar.
–Drew Carey
He who laughs last hasn’t passed out yet.
–Anonymous
To alcohol…the cause of AND solution to all of life’s problems.
–Homer Simpson
I never realized Drew Carey was so funny.
Always do sober what you said you’d do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut.
An intelligent man is sometimes forced to be drunk to spend time with his fools.
Every man’s life ends the same way. It is only the details of how he lived and how he died that distinguish one man from another.
Happiness in intelligent people is the rarest thing I know.
–Ernest Hemingway
I woke up this morning, and I got myself a beer.
–Jim Morrison